I still remember the haunting solitude of Death Stranding's endless horizons, where Sam Bridges moved through barren landscapes like a single stitch holding fabric together against the void. But Death Stranding 2: On The Beach throws that isolation overboard. Now aboard the DHV Magellan, we're a ragtag orchestra of specialists – each playing their own instrument, yet none quite hitting Sam's rhythm. If our legendary porter vanished tomorrow, who could shoulder those cargo straps? Let me walk you through my brutally honest assessment of this crew's delivery potential.

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Starting at rock bottom: Charlie (0/10). That floating mannequin head haunts the bridge like a disconnected puppet master. He's about as useful as a lighthouse on dry land – all warnings and no guidance. Without limbs or mobility beyond his pedestal, he couldn't deliver a paper airplane across the room. Those expressive facial projections? Nice for morale, maybe, but utterly worthless when facing a cliffside climb. Watching him try to coordinate logistics feels like observing a calculator attempting ballet.

Dollman (1/10) fares slightly better simply because he dangles from Sam's belt. But free him from those wires? He'd tumble across terrain like a wind-up toy caught in a hurricane. That doll body lacks the strength for cargo, the stability for balance, even the weight to withstand a drizzle. I've seen him scout BT territories admirably, but expecting him to transport heavy gear is like asking a soap bubble to carry bricks. His charm evaporates faster than Timefall puddles when practicality demands.

Rainy (4/10) enters in Episode 4 with infectious energy, but her personal raincloud curse turns deliveries into doomed expeditions. That perpetual Timefall aura erodes everything – cargo crates, vehicles, even hope. Picture her trekking through mountains: by the time she reaches the destination, the medical supplies would resemble fossilized mushrooms. Sure, she's resilient, but her presence turns logistics into a race against decay. It’s heartbreaking watching her optimism clash with the inevitable rust.

Heartman (6/10) surprises me. His upgraded exoskeleton mitigates that fatal 21-minute collapse, transforming him from liability to potential asset. He moves with scholarly precision, analyzing terrain like equations – but his heartbeat remains a metronome of mortality. One miscalculation during a death cycle near MULEs? Catastrophe. Still, his Beach knowledge gives him unique navigational instincts. If deliveries required puzzle-solving over brute force, he’d shine brighter than chiral crystals.

Tarman (7/10) thrives in niche scenarios. Tethered to the Magellan, he transports raw materials efficiently despite the ranking penalty. That tar-covered form moves with eerie purpose, and his cat companion? Either a reincarnated son or spiritual guide – either way, they operate like synchronized shadow puppets. But beyond bulk resources, he's lost. Watching him handle fragile cargo would be like entrusting origami to a snowplow. His strength lies in scale, not subtlety.

Tomorrow (8/10) terrifies and impresses me. Her tar manipulation abilities initially caused chaos – objects aged to dust at her touch. But as control grows, so does her potential. She fights like a phantom whirlwind, dismantling Ghost Mechs with terrifying grace. Physically, she’s Sam’s superior in agility and combat. The caveat? Keeping deliveries tar-free requires focus I’ve seen waver during emotional spikes. She’s a double-edged sword: cut through dangers but risk slicing the payload.

Fragile (9/10) stands unmatched. We forget she ran Fragile Express solo – teleporting packages with eerie efficiency. Now captaining the Magellan, she’s traded jump-shocks for leadership, but her instincts remain razor-sharp. Watching her reroute supply lines feels like witnessing a chess grandmaster improvise during an earthquake. She’d seamlessly swap bridge commands for cargo runs, her experience a compass in any storm. The only drawback? Her strategic mind is too valuable anchoring our operations.

So here we are – a crew full of brilliant flaws. Heartman’s ticking clock, Tomorrow’s volatile tar, Fragile’s irreplaceable command... none perfectly mirror Sam’s stubborn resilience. But maybe that’s the point: we’re not replacements, but fractured reflections. Now it’s your turn. Who’d you trust with your precious cargo? Grab that controller and prove me wrong – America's broken connections await your verdict. ⛰️📦